It’s every woman’s worst nightmare. You’re in what you think is a faithful, committed, long term relationship with a great guy, only to find out that he’s cheating on you. It’s a huge blow to your ego, and it makes you question almost everything about yourself.
Self-esteem plummets, and you spend several days moping around the house wondering what went wrong. If that’s happened to you before, or if you know someone it’s happened to and are looking to avoid that awful mistake yourself, then keep reading. If you follow these simple steps, you’ll minimize the chances of your man straying. Of course, life holds no guarantees, so the best you can do is to minimize the chances of it happening.
Understand that men are wonderful creatures, but they’ve got very fragile egos. Oftentimes, what prompts an otherwise faithful man to stray is that he doesn’t feel he’s appreciated enough. This is an easy fix. After all, you fell in love with him, didn’t you? It’s just a matter of reminding him periodically why you did that. Let him know he’s your rock star.
Each man is different, of course, so it’s important that you truly understand him and what he needs where that’s concerned. If you don’t, you come across as clingy or needy, which can be as big a turnoff as anything else.
Don’t Be His Mom – Ever
Another easy one to remedy, but some women just can’t resist the urge to mother. Unfortunately, mothering oftentimes looks a lot like smothering, and few things will send your man looking elsewhere faster than the feeling of being stifled at home.
Keep An Air Of Mystery About You
Even after more than twenty years with my husband, I still regularly do things that surprises him. When this happens, I just smile knowingly and nod. He knows he’ll never figure me out completely. You’re the same way. Women are deep and mysterious creatures, and we can (and should!) use that to our advantage.
Be More Than Just His Lover
This is the biggest one. The single most important item on the list. You can get away from accidental lapses into the territory covered by the other things if you do this consistently. The reality is that when a man strays, he does so because something is lacking at home. He’s in pain and searching for something.
That definitely doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it goes a long ways toward explaining it. So find out. If you’re worried that your man might be cheating, or if you think he’s even considering it, it’s time for a self-assessment about things at home. If he strays, there’s a reason, so start thinking very carefully about what he might feel that he’s “missing.” If you can figure that out, you can prevent it from ever happening.
When you get right down to it, men really aren’t all that hard to figure out. Feed them (yes, the rumors are true – the fastest way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach), stroke his ego, and keep him sexually satisfied, and you short circuit most of the reasons that men consider cheating on their spouses or girlfriends. Remember, none of this advice is about forcing you to change who you are as a person.
If you feel you need to do that, then it’s a clear signal that you’re with the wrong many anyway. Be you. Always be your own true self first and foremost, but when you go down that path and truly discover who you are, when you’re completely comfortable in your own skin, part of that is insisting on associating only with people who aren’t out to change you.
If you’ve chosen your man well, you won’t have that problem. If not, then you’ve got some serious soul searching to do. At the end of the day though, it all comes down to one simple truth: A deeply satisfied man never cheats.